Look at today’s music news. Rapper Nas has to pay his estranged wife, Kelis, $51,000 A MONTH for child support and spousal support (read: alimony). When I got a divorce, I had to fight for child support! I must be doing something wrong here.
I’m not saying Kelis is/was in this relationship for the money but this woman is now going to be very well taken care of and so is her child – for life – if she’s smart and invests the money she will be receiving. But wait a minute, the report says this was upped from $40,000 a month.
Hey, I’ll take that too! I don’t need just over $600K a year. I can make do with a measly $480,000 a year. It will be a struggle but I think I’m up to the challenge…
Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife gets $40K a month also but Hogan wants to reduce it (what rich guy wouldn’t???) because he says she’s using the money for illicit drugs.
Then there’s Kate Walsh who’s trying to stop paying alimony to her ex-husband; no report on how much she’s shelling out but you’re darn tootin’ it’s a lot or else she’d put up and shut up.
Again. I must be doing something wrong. Why haven’t I recognized that the way to have a steady income of thousands of dollars is to marry a rich guy? But, there’s a few requisite things that a woman must have or obtain before she attempts this:
1) possess/buy large…assets
2) visit a dermatologist daily
3) visit a gym hourly
4) have the hair stylist’s number on speed dial
5) have a credit card reserved solely for facial products, skin care & makeup
6) have a foreign accent
7) Botox injection in the lip area (optional)
8) Spanx collection (for the more mature ladies…)
9) Have a million dollar smile (literally)
10) Have a great personality (optional)
Okay, so I’m being a bit facetious…a tad.
If you’ve got any suggestions on what I can do to make even $10K a month – let me know! As long as it’s not illegal, does not require me to lay flat on my back, does not entail me ingesting weird slimy objects – well, you get the point.
Ta-ta for now.